He Chooses to Forget..

 

We have all heard the famous verse Romans 3:23, “All men fall short of the glory of God.” We hear this and an immediate, “duh” enters our thoughts. We know that we are human, imperfect, weak, sinners that are nothing without our mighty God breathing life and grace into our feeble lives. But even with having this elementary Sunday school lesson embedded in our brains, we still beat ourselves up and sometimes feel as though we are too far out of reach for our Father to call us back home. Let me tell you something, this is a LIE mustered up by the enemy, who in reality is just a tiny mouse with a megaphone.

Personally, this is an area of my life that the Lord has been trying to bring clarity to for quite some time, and finally I surrendered and let him fix this broken part of me…which is why I am writing this.

 Spiritual warfare is evident. The bible tells us multiple times that there will be a great battle between spirit and flesh, and that these are opposing forces. The way that I allow my flesh to prevail is usually in a way that is so camouflaged that I hardly even know that it is battering my spirit, such as indulging in garbage on tv, listening to that tasteless song on the way to work, or feeling too exhausted to open my bible that morning, however little it may seem in human eyes, it’s all the amo the devil needs to seep in and start his destruction. These little triumphs of the flesh can snowball out of control if we’re not feeding our spirit, because again, these two forces are in constant head to head combat..just waiting for the other to have a weak moment allowing victory over its opponent. This is one of the many reasons I am thankful for grace. That’s the beauty of all of this mess. We serve a God who is number one. He has the ULTIMATE power over every living thing in this world, he is above all else, his mighty hand can do anything he pleases, but with all that power..he uses it to be a good God. To love. To father the fatherless. To heal. To bring joy and hope…and He uses that power to forgive. This forgiveness of His is graciously given. We do not win it, we do not earn it, and we certainly do not deserve it…we are simply asked to receive it, and allow Him to see us as pure and new. SERIOUSLY?!? How breathtaking is our God?!

My struggle with this has been accepting the fact that I am completely forgiven even after I choose to serve my flesh over such an amazing God…knowing I chose something so vacuous and filthy over something so magnificent and holy, leaves me so astounded that God is willing to forget about all of it so hastily. But He does, and receiving that forgiveness is the key. Unless we are able to start seeing ourselves the way God sees us, and living in that mentality that we ARE redeemed, we cannot grow.

What is even more dangerous is when we start striving for that grace rather than accepting it. Trying to earn your way to living life through the spirit will do nothing but leave you exhausted. Spirit and strife do not mix .When you war in your own strength against something that God says is already finished, you’re fighting a battle that has already been won, and you’re not fighting from victory you’re fighting towards it. What victory can we achieve that is greater than the one already waiting for us? Ephesians 2:8 says, “For it is by grace you have been saved , through faith..and this is not from yourselves, it is a gift from God.”

 Now im not saying that we should give ourselves more credit, but rather give our God more credit. We are going to mess up, we are going to fail, we are going to be selfish and feed our flesh. But these are things that God already knew the day He created the Earth. He knew what he signed up for..trust me its hard to pull one over on this guy. This is why his goodness is such a treasure. It is so important to understand that He doesn’t want you to sulk in your shame or guilt. He doesn’t want you to feel like you need to strive to measure up, or try to earn your way back to him. He simply wants us to believe in that power of his forgiveness and to grasp how much He loves and values us, enough to forget all of our mistakes. Don’t ever let the lie of the enemy hold you back from growth with your Father. There is nothing you could do to make him stop loving you.

 

“But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness.”

-    Psalm 86:15

Love you all, Lys.

Investing in the Invisible

         There is a line in a song called The Desert Song that goes a little something like this, “I know I’m filled to be emptied again, the seed I've received I will sow.” Such beautiful words strung together to display an action that we as Christians are called to do. There are so many verses in the bible that deal with building disciples, helping to guide the lost, evangelism, and loving on those who are not so easy to love on.
       It warms my heart to see Christians stepping into their ministries and into their purpose and getting out of their comfort zones to do so. It definitely takes a huge leap of faith and diligence to leave the country to share Gods word with those who are not exposed to it like we are as Americans. I truly have immense amounts of respect for those sweet souls..but one thing that truly breaks my heart into pieces is how way too often we ignore those lost souls standing in line next to us at the grocery store, or the girl who comes to church every week and sits in the back row by herself, or even your childhood friend who you no longer speak to.
     I am just as guilty of it so please do not think that I am not speaking to myself, but I have had the privilege of learning from a past that incorporates two worlds. One world where I don’t see my friends without one of them offering to pray for me, or providing encouragement and love…and another world where my friends are sincerely trying to understand my love for Jesus as they order a round of shots and swear between gulps.
     There is one thing that I know that my Lord has called me to do, and that is to love on both of those groups of people the exact same. Notice that the line of that song also says, “I know I’m filled…” This is something I have learned the hard way, and that is  the bible does say that, “Bad company corrupts good morals.”(1 Cor 15:33) Which means that it is important to remain steadfast in your pursuit of the Lord and be careful not to get swept away when surrounded by those who don’t always honor the Christian lifestyle, but this does not mean to stop investing in these peoples lives.

     Let me share a little story with you. I am not going to name any names, but recently a friend of mine and I met for dinner to catch up and at the end of the dinner he looked at our server and simply asked her if she was familiar with the gospel. I was blown away by this boldness and my immediate thought was how awesome I thought that was. She proceeded to explain how she was a practicing Muslim and she did not believe that Jesus was the Messiah. After about an hour of rattling off countless scripture at this young woman, my friend blatantly said, “If you do not believe that Jesus came to die for your sins, when you die..you will go to hell.” My mouth dropped and I immediately excused myself to the restroom where I proceeded to wipe away my uncontrollable tears. When I came back he was not phased a bit and was ready to go with a smile. That night I could not sleep. ( I ended up finding the girl on facebook to apologize and ask if she wanted to hang out sometime, she was so sweet and I have actually gone back to see her a few times.)
 This is what I am getting at. My friend, whom I love whole heartedly had the absolute best intentions..but what lacked from his intentions, was love..1 Cor 13:3 “Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal.  And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.   And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing. “ He was completely unaffected if that girl accepted Christ or not, and THAT right there people…is the problem.

It seriously angers me how wrong we have it sometimes. One of my good friends recently told me that she is completely unconcerned with numbers, she said if I am able to truly invest in one person’s life and help hold them accountable and they truly love the Lord for all of their days..that right there is more important than sharing the gospel with hundreds... Just like with this girl…why don’t we actually learn her first name, get to know her, learn her heart before we throw our beliefs onto her. Where is the love?  I am so sick of telling people that I am going to hang out with a person and them asking..Are they in the Kingdom? ISNT THAT THE POINT???!!!!

We don’t have the most sacred knowledge of this life just to keep it for our small little group of  Christian friends do we? No..that is not what our Father had in mind. We are ALL his children..not just those of us who “fit in” to a churchy category. The reason I am so passionate about this is because I have seen lives changed when you simply choose to accept them as they are and listen to their hearts, we were all lost once weren’t we?     I was the outcast..the girl who was told that “If you didn’t change, I was planning on not hanging out with you ever again”…OUCH.  The girl who went to church every week with her one friend for one year that nobody even noticed  until her big brother was radically saved, the girl who hears the broken hearts of her friends that are lost and judged and how they are so turned off by Christians because they aren’t given the time of day. It is time to get uncomfortable.
We have a responsibility as Christians to invest in the lives of those who nobody believes will change, to get out of our little Christian bubbles, and to start seeing the invisible people. Matthew 5:47 “And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?”
                I did not step foot into church for over a year because of the bitterness that I harbored for those people who did not accept me, notice me, or take the time to learn my heart..but God healed that. I learned that I was 50% of that problem and I have been forgiven and forgave those who don’t even know that they broke my heart. The fact is people are imperfect beings, and we are all going to fall short, the reason why we hold Christians to a higher standard is because there is a sacred calling on our lives. People who have never felt loved in their entire lives walk into a church expecting to be accepted and loved, and if we don’t step up to our calling no matter how uncomfortable, then people will continue to bash the church.

This post is not to bash anyone, it is a wake up call. I am so incredibly imperfect and I struggle with this as well, but when someone holds me accountable and it really pisses me off..that’s usually a red flag that its exactly what I need to hear. So you can read this and hate my stinkin guts, but I can guarantee you that if we live by this truth…that invisible person will bloom, and lives will be taken over by Jesus...

 

 

These are a few of my favorite things..

 

     Hand written letters. Ah swoon. A lost art. I have had the rare pleasure of being able to keep in contact with a few people throughout my life with this timeless form of communication, and I must say..its one of those simple acts that can bring such joy to the human heart. There is something so personal and raw about personalized handwriting, its like a little piece of that person will be kept with you forever. Also the fact that a hand written letter takes precious thought and time, you know that somebody set aside a small moment of their day for you. In todays society with all of the lost and misinterpreted communication that technology has so narcoticly stolen from us, a hand written letter has become a desolate diamond in the rough.

 

     Reading & Writing. I have always known I was a right-side of the brain kid growing up and hated it because I was never "book smart" like the other kids who excelled in math and science, but watching this quality pour into my young adult years has been one of the most pleasurable experiences of my life. I have found my passion. I love to read & write. I've always had a knack for words as a kid and could rhyme like nobody's business. I have even skimmed a few cards I made for my parents as a kid and have patted myself on the back once or twice when nobody was looking. Writing was the one thing that I felt like I was good at. It was just so organic and natural to me, but I had lost touch with this part of my soul for so long. I got caught up in the vanity, superficial, external webs of life and I sold myself short. But when I finally allowed God to show me the true woman he designed me to be, he opened up my eyes to the talents and crafts that he gave me. Now I can't put a good book or a pen down for nothin...


Solitude. I was the girl in middle school, high school, and most of my unconventional college career that was always surrounded by her girlfriends. The "Will you go to the bathroom with me..pleeeeeeaaaase??" girl..the "Just call me when youre here and then I will walk inside." girl. Yep. That was me. The dependent, always needing someone to hold-my-hand girl. This was the first thing God wanted to completely shed from me...and boy am I glad that He did. The grievious ongoing removal of my comfort zone, has been the coolest experience. I have done things in this season that I would have never imagined, and learned things about myself that could only be revealed to me in this intimate time. Never in my life had I been to church by myself until this year, Now I go by myself frequently and I truly believe that is where I was able to experience the Holy Spirit for the first time. A little over a month ago I bought a ticket to a concert and went by myself. Althought my mother wasnt too happy about that, I went because I really liked the band, and I didn't need a person/people to bring familiarity along with me to enjoy myself, I made some friends there and had an absolute blast. I am learning that comfort can be dangerous, and true growth is produced out of awkwardness sometimes. My solitude is now something that I cherish. Turns out, being in the company of myself ain't so bad.

 

Ambience. If you have ever spent quality time with me you know that I am the first one to light a candle, or dim the lights before getting comfortable and diving into a conversation. I have to set the mood for the room. I am so in tune with my atmoshphere and when I have the luxury of being in control of it, I like to construct an enviornment that is consoling and cozy. I get this from my mother. My parents house has always been the house that all of my friends come to. Many of you reading this have probably even sat on my front porch swing, or my sofa with my mom serving you up a big ole helping of her famous chicken spaghetti. I love being in a warm welcoming place where I can kick my feet up and truly sink into my surroundings.

 

 

  My Brother. Now let me make this clear, I have been blessed with so many wonderful people in my life. There are relationships that I have formed with people that have single handedly laid the framework of every good quality that I may possess. Not to mention my parents are remarkable human beings, and my best friends. But God single handedly crafted one person for me. One person to undeniably understand every aspect of who I am, one person to always be on my side, one person to be my safe place. A true reflection of the love my heavenly Father has for me. That person is my brother. It is extremely difficult to even try to put this connection into words for people to read because it just falls so short of our relationship. We truly are one person, we share a soul, it is like no human connection I have ever witnessed. I may be freaking a few of you out at this point, but thats what is so great about it. I don't know anyone else to possess it. Tanner and I have always been close. I think thats because while "normal" families were vacationing to Disney World and staying at resorts in hotels, we camped. Everywhere. We would actually camp on the beach instead of staying in the hotels. This was our normal. I would'nt trade anything in the world for that closeness. Staying up all night telling each other stories, and pretending to hear wild animals outside our tent(which could have actually been real). We were never the kids that stayed inside and played video games, we didnt even have cable growing up..you could find us in the nearest creek, climbing trees, or even down in the cul de sac sewers (sorry Mom). We were given a gift many children are deprived of....quality time. To condense this post I will spare details..but as some of you know Tanner faced an agonizing battle with addiction that ran its detrimental course for about seven years. This brought many people in and out of his life, but I never left his side. I tried to be the strong one but eventually his addiction took my life on a downward spiral as well, and I compromised so much of who I was just to be next to my person. Even though I took on the role of the older sibling and the protector for a little bit, I never stopped looking at my brother and seeing the most incredible human being. He has come so far, and is now THE most profound spiritual influence in my life. He is my best friend, and my favorite person.

 

Sunsets. I have accumulated a small bucket list for the year of 2012, and one of the things on it is to witness every sunset of this year. This goal was actually inspired by the movie Tron. One of the female characters had never witnessed a sunset and asked one of the male characters to describe it to her. He is taken back and realizes how he took that sight for granted. Through doing this I have found that this is my most favorite time of day. As I sit back each evening and relish at the sight of the sky above me gradually evolving into Gods breathtaking masterpiece, I can do nothing but gawk at the wonder and breathe it all in. The Lord visually woo's me each night. I am captivated...