As I continue on my beautiful
journey with the Lord, I am finding a rhythm in my recollections. The way that
the Lord chooses to reveal my answered prayers to me are almost like an unforeseen
puzzle. He loves to use people, places, and things, that we would NEVER see coming.
Sometimes I don’t even realize that the very thing he unfolded in front of me is
the very thing that I asked for. Almost every time I go back and read my
journal, I am moved to tears at the way our Creator orchestrates his miracles,
it is indescribable and eminent.
I recently skimmed a previous entry
from one of my journals from the beginning of this month. On this particular
page I was just pouring out my heart and holding nothing back. This was my
hearts cry, and it was heavy and raw. The essential point of the flowing ink
revealed that I was struggling with accepting Gods love. Yep. I know. A
fundamental aspect of being in a relationship with Christ, the easiest gift in
the world to accept, the most rewarding powerful state of mind a human being
can live in, and I just could not allow myself to receive it. I was in my own
way, and my relationship with Christ was suffering. Towards the end of my
journal entry I was just spitting out truth and how I knew what the word of God
said was real, but there is a huge difference between “knowing” the truth and “accepting”
it. The final sentence stated, “I must
push forward and press into you Lord, because I know in my heart that there is
a season coming where I will not only hear about your truth, and learn about it,
but I will put it into practice, and see it unfolding in my life.
I grow frustrated just reading
that. It is amazing how we get in our
own way sometimes. We simply cannot live in the truth without allowing it to
penetrate our hearts, and that means..Believing and living in that solidity
that HE LOVES US. I know I am not the only person to struggle with this
concept, but I can’t lie, it sure as heck feels like that sometimes. As sad as
it is, the enemy had convinced me that I was unworthy of a love so selfless,
that I did not deserve for someone to see me so pure and blameless, he had convinced
me that I was damaged goods. Living in this lie, almost destroyed my life. Once
this prayer was purged, I knew that the season that my heart longed for was not
going to be an easy one and I did not expect it so soon, but guess what…he
delivered.
In the most random sequence of
events, my sweet Jesus has used people in my life who I would have never
expected to show me corporeal examples of this kind of love. I am learning to receive
and accept that this selfless love that I am being shown is only a “glimpse” of
the way that my Heavenly Father loves me. I am learning that these lessons of
love come in packages that we don’t plan for, but if we take the time to unwrap
them and look with eyes of the spirit, we see Him. I am learning how important
it is to seek Him in a way that is all my own, and not to miss out on his adept
messages of love, and to believe that I am worthy of this love, this benevolent,
divine, freely given love.
Isaiah 43:4 says, " Since you are precious and honored in my sight and because I love you, I will give people in exchange for you, nations in exchange for your life."
Love you all, Lys
Isaiah 43:4 says, " Since you are precious and honored in my sight and because I love you, I will give people in exchange for you, nations in exchange for your life."
Love you all, Lys
Girl, you inspire your mama! Love your words and growth. Here is a word for you :)
ReplyDeleteIsaiah 43:18-19 “Forget about what’s happened; don’t keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new. It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it?”